2020 in a nutshell

One of my Stars, Rachel, asked me to hop on the Taking Stock series she does monthly on her blog. I promised her I’ll take stock of how the year 2020 has been for me. Rachel’s Stock Taking Stock series is something I’ve come to love.

So, this is me giving a summary of how 2020 went (permit me to used past tense) for me. I tried using a word to describe what each month in 2020 was like.

January

RELIEF

I hate hate hate being in debt. It occupies my waking thoughts and makes me restless. So, it was such a relief to start the new year on a clean slate after clearing my house loan.

I broke up with my boyfriend on the last day – biggest relief!

February

HAPPY

It felt like I could breathe better after the break-up. Gosh! I needed that weight off me. My friend, Tosin Brown, gave me a phone, yaaay!

My friend and I wrote a secret love notes to my colleagues on Valentine’s day. This month, I ate lots of pizza, ice cream and spaghetti.

Yes, I was happy.

March

BIRTHDAYS

Almost everyone in my life is a March celebrant. Like, literally guys. I know not less than 10 persons who are my birthday mates.

April

LOCKDOWN

This butterfly was losing her mind because she couldn’t fly. I felt caged and scared.

It was a torturous month, my goodness!

May

PRESSURE

I was under a lot of pressure from work. I had this book project that was due for submission months before but I was failing woefully at it. There was so much work to do yet low motivation. I can’t remember feeling so good with myself.

Then, I tried dying my dreads, total disaster!

June

SAD

This was the month there were a lot of rape cases and resulting deaths reported in Nigeria. My heart was heavy and I cried my eyes out {Read this and this}. I remember being sad for more than 24 hours, which had never happened to me before. Ever. I ordered a cake in an attempt to feel better.

The pressure returned again and when I couldn’t take it anymore, I took a “medical leave” off work.

Visited Abeokuta, saw my friends, had a photoshoot and had a long ass conversation with my best friend about my life.

July

EPIPHANY

July was the month I deduced what my problem was. Things had been getting to me, making me unhappy and feeling low because it was time for a change.

Despite feeling like not much was working as planned in my life, I succumbed to the imprint on my heart to embark on a 31-day gratitude journey. Oh, the struggle on some days to give thanks to God.

Against reasonable judgement, with uncertainty of what’s to come and how to move on with my life, I quit my job in the midst of a pandemic.

I started the Single Celibate Christian series (one of the best things I did this year).

August

SCARED

So, I knew handing in my resignation was the right thing to do, but I was scared of the unknown. As my last day at work drew nearer, I found myself calculating every penny and worrying about how I would feed, afford auditions, pay my bills, etc.

Oh, the fear of “What if things don’t pick up anytime soon?”

Gosh, I was a mess.

I decided to keep my decision to myself and a few other persons because I did not want different voices telling me how crazy and risky my plan was. I even made my former bosses promise not to announce my departure until it was absolutely necessary.

Man, the anxiety!

The day came and my office organized a send-off party. The tears that flowed on that day ehn, the beautiful things said about me, the gifts and prayers… Sweet baby Jesus! I had not had my heart broken so in a long long time.

I returned home on the 31st of August, 2020 emotionally spent and with a banging headache.

BTW, did I mention that I had moved into the office in April because of the lockdown? Well, that made leaving even harder.

September

SURPRISE

Yes, surprise is the best word I can think of to describe this month. God showed up for me. I got a writing gig a week after my resignation and a couple of acting gigs that kept me busy. It was hard to tell people I was jobless because your homegirl was so busy.

October

ROLLER COASTER

I got more gigs that paid well. As a matter of fact, I made almost twice my former salary in October.

But then, there was the #EndSARS protest and the Lekki tollgate massacre that practically tore my heart into pieces.

November

AUDITIONS

I was auditioning almost everyday of this month, yet no call backs. Man, it was crazy!!!

BUT, Gelax Chatroom was on a roll! I met a lot of people in my blogging community, made friends and got more Stars in the Galaxy.

It was the first time I checked my stats for www.gelaxchatroom.com and I was blown away! Oh, how I cried.

Yo Stars, God is good!

Also, I returned to church this month. Somebody shout hallelujah!🙌

December

TEARS

The first thing that welcomed me into this month was an unexpected credit alert from one of my sisters. It was as early as 4am. When I called her, she told me she just wanted to remind me of how proud she was of me. You people, come and see hard girl crying like a baby 🤣

Few days later, another sister sent me more money for the same reason. Boy, oh boy!

Did someone play “Cry Me A River”? Because… Heheheee 😅

On the 7th of December, my brand, Gelax Chatroom clocked 4. Man, the tears were flowing non-stop!

Now, although my December was predominantly full of happy tears, there was this two times I cried out of deep sorrow.

Still, many big (and scary) ideas were conceived this December and I am looking forward to their manifestation in 2021.

~

One big lesson I learnt from writing this blog was how I tend to overlook my small wins because I have a bigger picture in mind.

Oh, how many blessings I had taken for granted until the prompt to write this post. So, if I were to describe 2020 with one word, it would be GROWTH.

I enjoyed growth in many areas of my life this year, and for that, I am grateful.

~

I had no anchor scripture for 2020 because my walk with God was shaken at the beginning, but if I were to pick one in retrospect, it would be Romans 4: 18 – 21 (NKJV)

18. who, contrary to hope, in hope believed, so that he became the father of many nations, according to what was spoken, “So shall your descendants be.”

19. And not being weak in faith, he did not consider his own body, already dead (since he was about a hundred years old), and the deadness of Sarah’s womb.

20. He did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God,

21. and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform.

~

How would you describe your 2020?