You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I’m telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
He sees you when you’re sleeping
He knows you’re awake
He knows if you’ve been bad or good
O! Be good for goodness sake!
I’ve been a really good girl this year, so I thought I’d make a list of things I want from Santa Claus.
Back in the 90s, Christmas party was a thing almost every Nigerian kid looked forward to in primary school.
Weeks before the end-of-the-year party, the smartest of the pupils, the ones with loud voices and others who could dance would be gathered by the teachers in an empty classroom and asked if they wanted to act, sing or dance at the forthcoming party. After which they were divided into groups according to their indicated areas of interest or where the teachers perceived they would do better.
Then the rehearsals began, which was always followed by some pupils getting dropped due to poor performance. Some of those kids came back to school the next day with at least one of their parents to beg or even threaten the teachers and the headmaster to return their wards to the presentation team. The teachers were sometimes, forced to put the kids on for the fear of offending a troublesome parent or an influential one.
Those kids always drag the team back. They turn up on the day of the party with the best costumes but absolutely no clues as to the song or the dance moves. The teachers then make the last minute decision to put them at the back where their cluelessness won’t be obvious to the audience.
Of course, I was never one of those kids.
I think most primary schools have the worst results of the year in December because all the kids probably think about is the new dresses they would wear for the party, what Santa or Father Christmas, as we call it on this side of the world, would give them.
Santa Claus’s, aka Father Christmas, gifts in my primary school usually included pencils, erasers, sharpeners, plastic cups, whistles, water guns, watches. These fancy watches never worked after the first day. I still can’t find a plausible explanation for that but I know I always felt cheated; moreso because the rice was never well cooked. It was either a part of the Jollof rice was cooked with the other part still hard, or the rice was all together soggy. Not after the plenty money my mother had paid for the party. We sure deserved better.
Oh, I almost forgot about the small plastic balls that came in green, blue and I think, yellow colours. There was a year they put a piece of blom blom (balloons) inside our Santa gift pack. My mother was livid. She vowed never to pay for any Christmas party again, but na lie, I still paid the following year.
My favourite part of Christmas party was when we went into the decorated room to meet Santa. He was always one of our male teachers, especially the big ones. My classmates and I used to take it upon ourselves to find out who the teacher was each year. I think the boys always won because they had “more liver” to pull stunts in that room. Stunts like pulling Santa’s mask “accidentally” to reveal his identity… oh lawd! Boys will always be boys – stubborn, mischievous and daring.
I don’t understand why some children cry when they see Santa, save the babies, of course. I really don’t get it. Like seriously, why are you crying? Are you a baby?
I always found it funny.
Now that I’ve been scammed into adulthood where there is no more Santa and his gifts unless I take my wallet and debit card to the market, by myself, to get me my wishes. I sure miss those cups, watches, whistles, and even the balloons that came in my gift packs back in the day. At least, there was guaranty that one would get gifts from Santa come what may.
Still, here is my wish list to you, Santa
Dear Santa,
I hope this letter meets you well?
I’ve been a very good girl all year. I made a lot of people smile and laugh by my silly behaviours and great blog posts. I fought with less people this year. My saving culture was great and I paid most of my debts. I made new friends and tried reconnecting with old ones.
That’s definitely more than I can say about last year, and for that, I think I deserve the following gifts.
- A big bowl of coconut flavoured ice-cream mixed with dried coconut and broken waffles (before Christmas).
- A yummy plate of spaghetti with shredded chicken for breakfast on Christmas day.
- A big box of chicken suya pizza for Christmas lunch.
- A VIP ticket to Wizkid’s MadeInLagos show on Boxing Day.
- Two tickets to watch any stage play in Lagos.
- A pair of black sneakers.
- A new phone.
- Two more piercings on my ears.
- A fun and memorable outing with my friends, and
- A prayer that my biggest wish comes true in 2020.
For Gelax chatroom lovers, I wish the following:
- That they all find peace, love and laughter.
- That their Christmas wishes be met.
- That they grow in all ramifications.
- And that they keep loving and supporting Bolaji Gelax and Gelax Chatroom.
For my haven, the non-judgmental and unconditional love of my life, Gelax Chatroom, I make these three wishes, Santa:
- That she grows in beauty, numbers and popularity.
- That she makes many more people happy and,
- That she starts to make me money; lots of money.
Please be good to me and my wishes, Santa.
Yours sincerely,
Bolaji Gelax (Miss Flowery).
