A week ago, my office’s Head of Customer Experience walked up to me and asked if I’d like to host our office’s end of the year party. I was like, “girllll… you kidding me? Who else will do that job?”
She hugged me and said, “Oh great. One more thing though”
“George might be co-hosting with you”
“Sure, that’s perfect!”
We hugged and it was sealed. My next thought after that was, “What would I wear for the party?”
I planned on wearing a denim mini skirt but I never got around to buying one, so I settled for my yellow stripped shorts my Brown Sugar gave me earlier this year. I had never worn this top before today and my sneaks were almost brand new (only wore them at my friend’s wedding few weeks ago) so yeah, it pretty much felt like my Christmas clothes…LOL
I got to work this morning, changed into my loving outfit, then, my village people thought,
“Hmmm… why should you look this damn gorgeous today?”
Yup, they almost succeeded. One of my colleagues was doing her make-up, the insects in my eyes, under the influence of my villagers, pushed me and I went on to paint my face and lips. I killed the look with my ‘Happy New Year’ glasses, feeling like the paragon of beauty I know I am.
If only I knew.
About three hours into the party, while my village people were off-guard –they were probably busy with someone else from my village at that moment – I decided to check some of the pictures of me that had been snapped. Lo and behold, those pictures… Jesus Christ! I almost cried at how horrible the pictures were, and by horrible, I mean horribly horrible. Gosh! If those were the first pictures of me I was ever seeing of myself, I wouldn’t wanna ask me out or even be friends with me.
Okay, I might be exaggerating things but mehn…
My chin upward looked ugly, people. The lippie was too red and ridiculously glossy, the glasses I had on made me look like a clown, and my precious green scarf only emphasized my Rihanna’ forehead, but from the neck down, I looked effortlessly stunning.
By the way, if you haven’t noticed, I’ve got great legs. If you can’t see them, ask Abigail *tongue out*
You bet! I asked that the pictures be deleted. Such aren’t the photos I’d like to trail my career when I become a celebrity in few months time. Nah nah nah, mbanu!
I cleaned my lips, no, I actually scrubbed the horrendous lipstick off my lips, tried cleaning the eyeshadow and ditched the scarf.
Whoosh! A bit of normalcy!
I felt pretty again and on went the pictures snapping spree. I snapped sote, my office people tire for me. What did they expect? I had to make up for the lost pictures now.
Turned out I was in a lot of pictures looking as peng as would have been expected of Gelax. Hallelujah, Jesus conquered the world, my village people were defeated.
Fun fact: I am a talented photo bomber
I had gone Christmas shopping for my colleagues and I made the mistake of buying a short dress for the office hoe. This had to be the most inappropriate outfit ever, and I bought it because I expected her to go clubbing during the week.
Guys! This crazy chick wore that dress to the office on a pair of red heels, looking all snatched. Lord have mercy on her soul *does the sign of the cross thrice and throws cowries on the floor for ifa*
The party was great! I slayed my hosting duties –of course, food was plenty and we had madt fun!
Work sure ended in the best way possible.
Oh! Have I mentioned that my boss, Chinonso Ogbogu, is one of the bestest bosses ever? His 2IC, Mr. Felix, is the best right-hand man any entrepreneur could ask for. I like to call him ENGINE, he’s that awesome.
They gave us hampers! Full grocery packed hampers for Christmas, y’all.
I’m glad I’ve been saved grocery shopping for the next few weeks, great stuff.
You should have seen our faces when we saw the hampers, we were expecting an envelope of 1k or 2k airtime, but we saw hampers, and the most(inserts tears and a sniff or two) romantic hand written letters attached, get this, it was addressed to everyone personally, none was the same. It was simply special.
Oh! I’ve got lotta days to sleep, eat and binge on movies. No work till next year people!😉
This is going to be another great Christmas guys. I’ve got plans and I can’t wait to share with you.