This is not a feminist post, simply because I am not a feminist. I will, however, say what I have to say though.
Do not be surprised when I let my girlfriends know when they are being mistreated. Yes, I will tell them when they are in the wrong, but I will tell them their worth while doing so.
Marriage is a blessing when you find that one person you love. Compromise won’t even be compromise; you do things because you love your partner that much. I should know, I married the love of my life.
But, do not think I won’t tell my sisters that marriage is not an achievement and they are not any less of a person if they do not marry because… let’s be honest it really isn’t a milestone. It either happens (and is the best when it happens) or it doesn’t. And you can still be happy if it doesn’t. There is no point being unhappy so just live and be happy.
I am all for tradition and you will probably find me following some because that is how I was brought up. Call me a hypocrite if you will, but you will find me telling my daughter not to bow to this patriarchal society we live in. “Girl, do not conform unless it serves you! Be at peace with you.”
I love my parents, but don’t be shocked when I ask generations past why they had so many children whom they struggled to cater for. One could say they needed help in the fields or the odds of having a successful child among many was higher, making it worth a gamble. But I will ask my mothers’ whether their consent was asked or it was a no discussion thing. I will ask how they dealt with postpartum depression when the next child came way before they were over the last pregnancy.
I am African but I am female first.
So don’t be surprised if you see me telling any woman who will listen that these glass ceilings were made to be shattered and shatter they shall. In the same way the lady who drove the bus I took to town when I was little made me feel like I could conquer the world. Every glass ceiling shattered by an African woman will give others hope, hope to carry on and be more. To do more.
So, African woman, do what’s best for you.
Stars, it’s been seven different episodes of Africans from different African countries writing about the things they’re expected to like, love or be as Africans, but they are not.