Holla, Stars!✨How have you been, my dearests?
After months of dealing with what I choose to call writer’s block simply because I’m not ready to admit nor share certain things, yet, I finally got fully inspired to blog again.
Notice the careful use of the word fully? Well, that’s because I have quite a couple of unfinished posts in my draft. The inspiration to finish them and sprinkle that Gelax magic has been the struggle but hey, here we are.
Of course, I missed you Stars so freaking much. As much as you missed me.😉
Anyway, shall we get into today’s blog already?
Last week, I took a clitoris test. And failed woefully. Yup, I’m almost 30 years old and you can say I know nothing about my clit.
Before you judge me though, I dare you (man & woman) to also take the test and see how
badly well you’d do.
I won’t even lie, it felt good knowing I wasn’t the only one who failed this test moreso because a friend thought the reason I failed was linked to my single celibate Christian status.
On a serious note, the large number of women on my list (both sexually active and inactive) who failed the test was disheartening. The follow-up conversations we had proved more how little we women know about our body. In fact, the highest scorers were men.
It brings the question why?
Why aren’t women taught things about their body? Why didn’t we take it upon ourselves to learn? Why are there fewer people talking about the
clitoris female anatomy other than the boobies.
Really, think about it…
How is it that men seem to know more about your body? Yeah, you may argue that it’s because they are the ones who explore the woman’s body but still…
Another argument could be the fact that the only time most (African) women get anything close to talks about their body is when they’re being taught how to clean it to avoid the fishy smell. Also on their wedding day, or the night before, when the mother or mother in-law comes to awkwardly tell her how to prepare her vagina for the man’s pleasure and for reproduction.
The truth is, lately I’ve been thinking of getting me one or two sex toys. The older I get, the more I desire to explore my body.
No, I’m not more horny than I ever was.
Neither am I thinking more about sex.
Actually, I’ve thought about traveling on vacation to an island and just get it over it. I may not go through with this but it’s a thought I’ve entertained.
And certainly not peer pressure.
Before you ask, I’m not sure I ever said I was waiting until my wedding night. For real tho, why would I want to do that after months of planning and hours of dancing, most probably on heels? Heck no! 🌝
On a bit of a more serious note…
I pride myself in being very self-aware. If you know me well, you can tell much of my confidence comes from knowing myself, knowing what I want and what I don’t want. However, I may not be able to boast when it concerns knowledge about my body and sexuality.
As of today, I can’t tell you what I like and dislike for and to my body. Heck, wasn’t it a few years ago I found out I don’t pee from the same hole I menstruate from? It lowkey pisses me off when I meet men who authoritatively, and cockily, tell me things I ain’t aware about my body and feminity in general. That’s because it’s something I should have known, damn it!
Makes me wonder if my mothers, aunties and the other older females in my life even know too, because why didn’t I ever hear about it?
If we’re being frank, they don’t know either. And there are many who are afraid to learn because it is a “taboo” and “unreligious”.
Back to why I’ve been considering getting me some sex toys.
Recently, I found out I’m more sensitive on a particular part of my body (not telling y’all… TMI). This took a past pointing it out in a rather annoying way for me to even realize this. After cooling off from the anger mixed with embarrassment, I took the time to think about it and soon admitted the truth of it. It also dawned on me that had I been in a position where I didn’t want to copulate but that person knew what I didn’t know, they could have very much “subdued” me because I didn’t know to guard that part of my body in such moment(s).
Yes, I have mentioned before that as much as I’m not opposed to masturbation, I do not engage in it.
News splash… That was a lie!
‘Was on a date with this sometimes-sweet human a few weeks back and he asked if what he had read about women being able to pleasure themselves by tightening their thighs was true.
On impulse, I started to say no. Then I paused and thought about it for a second.
“Absolutely correct!” I sang.
He will be finding out just now that I didn’t know until then that tightening my thighs to relieve the rush when it came was a form of masturbation. I can tell for a fact that I’m not the only celibate girl who does that.
Long after we’ve had that conversation, I kept smiling to myself reminiscing on the many times I did this in public, sitting right next to people, even while gisting and laughing. It’s funny how a joker may have thought he/she was being funny not knowing my laughter was more triggered by the tickling sensation going on in my cookie jar.
Anyhoo… I think I’m at the point where I’m willing and looking to explore my sensuality and learn more about my body. Nah, not for the pleasure of it (although there would be that), but solely to discover and uncover more about my body.
This is not me advocating for masturbation. Nor am I asking you to go get sex toys. I believe you’re grown enough to decide whatever you want to do to and for yourself.
Please do you.
Don’t. Try. To. Be. Like. Me.
However, if you’re a woman, I’d advise you to educate yourself about your body. You don’t have to go the sex toy route; there are plenty of articles and other audio-visual resources you can employ to gain the right knowledge.
Most importantly, your body talks so, listen to it.
I love how less than 5 minutes into publishing this, peeps are already asking if a celibate person should be using sex toys.
Truthfully, I think you can depending on the kind of celibacy or abstinence you are practicing, and why. Remember I already discussed this in Celibacy vs. Abstinence blog post.
It’s really nice to be back to blogging. Hopefully, you’ll read from me again SOON. Until then, please drop your thoughts on this post in the comment section.
Also, please please please subscribe to my YouTube channel. My web series, TANGERINE, is premiering veryyyyy soon!🥳