Dear Cancelled Boyfriend,
I can bet my last kobo that from the title of this letter, you already know this is for you. Truth be told, in my first draft, I named you Faruq (which is very far from your real name but pretty close to how I feel about you), but hey, I’m a nice girl!
Remember how Tee nicknamed you 11:59 because you always called very late at night in the first few weeks? Well, that’s what I’ll be calling you in this letter -11:59.
11:59 and I went to the same university and we had quite a number of mutual friends. I knew him and he knew me too, but we never met officially. Fast forward to 2019, one of our mutual friends decided to matchmake us.
Interestingly, I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of matchmaking because growing up, I saw Mumsy do that a lot. There are families that came to be because that woman did a good job, but I never thought I’d give it a go.
Anyway, this beautiful mutual friend of ours was somehow convinced 11:59 and I were a good match. She wasn’t wrong.
We clicked from the first hello. The chemistry between us was undeniable and I remember thinking I was in big trouble from that first night we spoke on the phone. We would stay on the phone for hours gisting and laughing until one of us fell asleep. Of course, the culprit always denied it. LOL.
The first time we spoke was on a Wednesday and I remember you wanted us to meet up that weekend but I refused. Let’s just say I didn’t trust myself enough to keep me in check around you, so I stalled. I needed to buy me some time. Although, I doubt if that made much difference because, y’all, our first date was wild!!!
Here is the gist, yeah…
Okies, because I knew there was an undeniable attraction between us, despite just talking on the phone, I was deliberate about toning down my dressing for the date. Of course, I had to look good but any trace of sexiness was carefully tucked away.
I kinda knew there was a tendency for us to misbehave in public. Know what I mean? Actually, no you don’t but moving on…
From the moment I set my eyes on him, pheromones were just flying left, right and center! I wish I could spill more tea but we have some U-18 Stars here. I could give you a hint though.
Okay… have you ever seen two animals on heat before? Yeah? That’s all I’m gonna say about that.
Stars, hmmm… let’s just be thanking God that I was celibate because I doubt if being in public would have stopped either of us from making it to Instablog9ja.
Moving on! 😂
Despite how “steamy” that day was, I still managed to switch on my sense storage tap to cool things down. I had left home with a notepad and two pens because I wanted 11:59 and I to have a serious convo. Yup, I’m one of those girls who don’t joke around even on first dates. Especially if I like the guy enough to think we may have a chance.
So, I made us write down
– Things we liked about each other
– Things we wouldn’t take from a partner (aka deal-breakers)
– Things we expect to get from a partner
– Our aspirations, short and long-term goals.
Need I say how impressed he was by that? I was proud of me too!
Although I had never made any guy write those things down, I usually like to get such questions answered earlier on before I start catching feelings and my judgement gets clouded. Really guys, ain’t nobody too smart not to get “blinded by love”. However, the pen and paper was peculiar to 11:59 because, like I have mentioned, we were very sexually attracted to each other. And I’m not foolish to think talking alone would cut it on that first date.
From what we wrote down and discussed that day, we both agreed our matchmaker was right to think we could work. He was so excited he thought we should start dating immediately but I gave a firm no. And here is why:
I have a very colourful personality which I’ve discovered could be as much of a curse as it is a blessing.
A curse most especially when it involves romantic relationships. Over the years, I’ve learnt that men are usually convinced they are in love with me when in truth, they are only attracted to my flowery personality. And it’s tricky because many of them don’t even know this.
Hence, to protect my fragile heart, I like to put a prospective partner through a probation period (the time frame varies, depending on the person involved) for The Blues Test.
The aim of The Blues Test is to help me uncover if the prospective really likes me, Bolaji Gelax, or Miss Flowery, my alter ego. Trust me, this test has saved me from many heartaches and that explains why I’m either single or in a serious relationship.
I’m a sucker for people being mentally, spiritually, psychologically, physically and purposefully in sync before they commit themselves into a relationship. I really should write a post about this.
Anyway sha, 11:59 passed The Blues Test. At least, that was what I thought.
After a few months of just dating and getting to know each other better, I asked him one evening, “When are you going to ask me out again?”
He sure didn’t see it coming.
“I was planning to do that on Sunday”, he stuttered.
Yinmu
“Eh ehn, what’s special about this Sunday that you were waiting till then?”
Long story short, we became a couple officially that evening. This was shortly after I returned to Lagos after my second eviction.
Oh, I think it’s worthy of note to mention that 11:59 had a good kissing game.
Anyway, we had it good for a couple of weeks and just like that things took a major nosedive. Simply put, I was dating a guy that wasn’t dating me… heheheee.
It’s crazy because I didn’t even notice at first being that I’m not one of those girls who waits for you to call first. I miss you, I call you up.
We had a pattern. I did the morning and midday check-ins while he usually called me on his ride back home from work and we hung out almost every weekend.
Apparently, he hadn’t been calling me for a while but I didn’t notice because I always called. I usually just assumed he was probably working later than usual, tired or something, so I’d call him up before I went to bed.
Until one fateful day…
I was low on cash and airtime and the amount in my account was a round figure I needed to withdraw the next day, so I couldn’t recharge. That was sha how I stayed up waiting for his call o. I dropped messages on WhatsApp and all, yet nothing.
Boy, I was worried sick that night! As soon as I got to work the next day, I borrowed a colleague’s phone to call him.
“Hey, baby, are you okay?”
“Hey, Gelax” (I loved how he called my name), “What’s up?” He asked casually.
Ah ahn…
“What do you mean by “what’s up?”, I’ve been very worried about you!”
He laughed then asked, “Why?”
I was legit confused. I had not spoken to my boyfriend in more than 24 hours and he was there laughing and asking why I was worried about him. Anyway, I shrugged it off and carried on the conversation normally. I also explained why I couldn’t call him the previous day and he promised to call me on his way back home that night. He didn’t. I did.
Few days after, I couldn’t help but notice the new pattern. Me calling to be sure he was okay and asking why he hadn’t checked in all day. Him brushing it off casually with the flimsiest of excuses.
Baba nla see finish! (Over-familiarity had bred contempt)
Still, I kept making excuses for him thinking he might be dealing with issues he wasn’t comfortable discussing with me yet, like finances, family, work, etc., so I tried to be the understanding girlfriend, subtly reassuring him that I’d always be there if he needed to talk.
When I finally tabled the issue and asked what was going on, he swore everything was good. Is there another woman in the picture? He said no. So, what the heck was the problem then?!
People of God, that was how my supposed boyfriend and I would go days without talking or texting and whenever I called, he’d carry on the conversation as though we both slept in the same house the night before.
Sweet baby Jesus!
I was still ready to put in the work thinking it was just a phase that would pass, even though I was frustrated, until the day I noticed he only called me on Friday evenings and the conversation always started with, “Baby, what’s up? Can I come over to your place tonight?”
Either my response was yes or no, the next time I’d receive a call from him was the following Friday with the same question.
Excuse me please, isn’t that what a booty call sounds like?
Omooooo, I suffered for this guy’s hand sha. Aaah!
There’s more gist in between, but let me wrap it up here for now.
On the 30th of January, 2020, I invited 11:59 over to my place for a sleepover. Mind you, even though we were both in Lagos, I didn’t see my boyfriend throughout December and that January because he was too busy for me. Heheheee… You too can see that I suffered ba? It is well.
Anyway, that night he tried different tactics to get me to talk but I kept my smile intact and repeatedly told him all was well.
The next morning, at around 5am, when he was about to leave my house for work, I called him back and in no nice words told him I was done with his a$$. Stars, I even used the F word and it felt really good!
For all I care, 11:59, you and I never happened.
NEVER AGAIN,
Bolaji Gelax.
UPDATE: Tee said your name was 10:15 not 11:59, but who cares?
Thank you for dumping his sorry a$$. I didn’t expect less from my Darling Gelax. Everyone deserves to be genuinely loved and treated right!
You don’t toy with people’s emotions and act like it’s alright abi you’re a candidate of thunder ni.
Nonsense and 11:59!
That name fits him sef plus he does qualify to be called Ex!
See his stupid head like basin!
Good riddance to bad rubbish!
I meant to say he doesn’t qualify to be called Ex because he never happened.
And sorry, his head is like dustbin.
Pardon the initial error!😂😂😂
I already figured out the omission in the first comment 😅.
Happened to who? Where? How? When? Eish!
The test actually makes a lot of sense for your personality. You have that aura that makes people gravitate towards you, I would imagine that men (and women😉) would confuse it with romantic attraction and end up confusing you also. Good on you for protecting yourself
Yes sis, that was definitely booty call vibes
Maybe you should start an 18 plus blog because now the masses want the full story😩
You know, I actually wrote “(and women)” in my first draft but I was like, “Hmmm… We don’t want people interpreting this the wrong way now, do we? 🤔”
Heheheee… I’m sorry. Maybe I should! 😅
Thanks for always stopping by, my darling. You are a certified Star! ✨
Hahaha we think alike
An honour🤗🤗🤗Keep creating awesome content and the stars shall follow⭐
LMAO @ candidate of thunder🤣🤣🤣
He doesn’t o, that’s why he’s cancelled ❌
I love how you carry my matter on your head, Mammy.🤩 I loveeeeeeee you! ♥️✨♥️✨♥️✨♥️✨
BTW Happy New Month my Darling.
May February bring you more love, favour and money!😘😘
Happy New Month to you too!!!
Amen, and for you and your! ♥️✨
Omoooooo
You suffered oh, Gelax, and to think that this was just last year, I’m sorry love.
You guys never happened abeg! I stand with you.
This post reminds me of how my ex talked to me in February but immediately it was valentintes’ week, he vanished for 2weeks, came back, told me a story, I accepted it but till today, I do not believe it. Sadly, there are men abi boys like this. Annoying stuff.
Omo x 100,000 😂😅
Boys that do this should be sent to Sambisa forest to fight for the country, because… Heheheee. Let’s sha be thanking God.
Pele dear 🤗
Bolaji this has got to be my favourite blog post. I have 😂😂😂😂😂 at 11:59. Wawu!! So glad you moved on because you was carrying the relationship all by yourself.
Awww… I’m happy you love it🤩.
Yes, please. I wasn’t going to give him a name, just number abeg 😒. Thanks, my darling. 🤗
I wish I could get all the jist😂😂
Heheheee… Maybe when I start my podcast we can spill all the tea, you know 😉
Yes,Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee
😉😉
😂😂🤧
Just imagine. 11:59 must’ve been feeling like a player. Oh the agony of being alone in a relationship. Thank God he never happened, in fact, I can’t see this post. 🙈
Good riddance.
What post?
Energyyyyy!!!! Love eeeeeeet! 🤩
Like real time Jagaban o… Chai! 🙆🏻♀️
Happened where? What boyfriend? What post?
Good riddance to 11:59. I’ve joined you in denying his existence 😪
This was a pretty interesting read though… I’m ignoring zoom class for it. No regrets 😊
Denied. Cancelled. Non-existence. ❌❌❌
Awww… But wait, should I be happy you ignored a zoom class? Actually, I’m flattered! Thank you plenty plenty plenty, lover! 🤗♥️✨
😂😂😂
You’re welcomeeee💖
“What is special about Sunday” I cried 😂😂
You were in a relationship with alone. Please, let’s never go down that road again 💀
Don’t mind him, using that silly line on me. I’m like, what’s happening on Sunday, bro? 😂🤣
NEVER AGAIN, baby!
Thanks, my love. ♥️✨
Gelax, I must say I love your version of this story but you know their is always a second version of every story. 11:59 will sure have his own version but in all love is always how you feel not what it seem like.
WD.
True, true, true.
But guess what? Nobody cares what 11:59’s version is because WE NEVER HAPPENED!!!
😅
I’ve been in quite a similar situation where I met this girl mid last year when I was in pandemic food distribution with the Red Cross. Safe to say, “we found love in a hopeless place.” 😁 or so we thought.
We connected & vibed. Constant phone convos & shit.
But somewhat somehow it reached a time when we could talk no more. We could go days without texting or calling. The longing to communicate was there. It was evident in the occasional hellos but there was nothing to talk about.
Guess we realised that we was just two people who wanted to make something more out of what should’ve remained a simple friendship.
Heheheee… Rihanna did well on that one! 🤩
Hmmm… I guess the law of diminishing returns set in or maybe you should just have remained friends like you said.
Anyway, we muveeeee!
One of the mysteries of this earth is how a guy will be up in your face just because he wants you to date him.
Then, you say yes.
Few weeks/months down the line, he starts ghosting.
Like Micheal, are you normal?
Are your village people sitting on your matter?
Are you feeling Typhoid symptoms?
As you have chosen to be a ghost, oya fly out of the window and be going.
*
This is a very relatable post for both gender.
No one deserves to be ghosted.
To the ghosts out there, one day, Nigerian police will arrest you.
My goodness! What has typhoid symptoms got to do with any of these, Ayobami? 🤣🤣🤣
Funnily, I think we ladies ghost men more actually but like you said, NOBODY deserves to be ghosted.
Thanks, dear. ♥️✨
🤔
I actually do care about 11:59’s version of the story. I so much believe his version would provide a broader perspective to the whole narrative. I have a personal dissent against ‘name and shame’ especially when the characters in question have not spoken for themselves.
You and me both, actually. It would have been easier to understand the situation if he said what was biting him. And maybe, just maybe…
We all deserve to be happy o jare…at all cost.
Amo’ Gelax you threw some gangster move there o… Inviting Bobo for a sleepover
(invariably to him, a booty call😂) and giving him a taste of his “everything is fine” medicine! Damn Damn!
P.S…Maybe you should feature11:59 here for his own experience. Make we learn a thing or two from the cancelled one 😉🙂
Playing the devils advocate👿 I find your WhatsApp status on this case kinda interesting…what truth is he talking about? Why did he ghost all of a sudden? Why/What didn’t you guys work out together? All this and more we may never know cos he is cancelled, erased, wiped out for a clean slate…😶😑
😂😂😂
I never thought of it that way but yeah… I guess that wad what I did 🤭.
I’d ask him if he’d be interested in telling/writing his own experience. I’d really like that actually 😊.
Aproko no go kee you! 😂
Dis kind tori folo for wetin make man pikin dey gidigba on top this ogbonge blog.
Abeg run am shapely…make Aburo Socrates sef fit put mouth for d mata.😁👿😄
You see that one talk sha 😃. I don tell am, make we see if him go respond in writing.
Are you and Àbúrò Socrates are ganging up inside this Galaxy? 🤔
Ghen Ghen…We hope he agrees. Me and Aburo Socrates just tryna avoid the “danger of a single story” nothing much…we could learn a thing or two you know!🙂😘
Both of you pulling bro code on me. No loyalty at all! 😏
“You too can see that I suffered ba? It is well.”
It’s well indeed. Glad you moved…on
Each time I notice such pattern changes and constant giving of excuses, I tend to pull out slowly as I ask for the reason. If no answer is given, I jump ship like you did…
And the blue test is really helpful. I have been encouraged to keep doing it. I thought I was being tough but yeah, it is needed to protect our hearts
I honestly don’t get why some men find it difficult to communicate and sadly, it’s fast becoming a trend.
Yes please, our hearts must be fiercely guarded.
Yeyii
Lmao firstly, 11:59 is HILARIOUS 😂 😂
Also your post is so relatable. Being the only one in a relationship and making up excuses. Oh man. Only being looked for at certain times. Us women go through a lot. But good thing this actually never happened 😂😂 What is a 11:59??
Glad you kicked his ass to the curb, he was not worth any of your flowery time. Thanks for sharing this. I really enjoyed it fave.
Babe, it’s alarming how many women can relate to 11:59’s behaviour. Like what the heck is wrong with our men? 🤦🏻♀️
Girl, what? Happened where? Nah nah🙅.
Thank you!!!!!!!! I’m glad you enjoyed it. ♥️✨
Lmao it’s not even right. They all have the same brain I tell you. It doesn’t matter where they are from. 😂😂
Heheheee… I have to agree😂. Save a select few
… reminds me of a story I once encountered in my travels.
This young man didn’t realise the light he had in his hands. That is disappointing. Asides that, I’m glad you’re in a good place.
Shine, Gelax… You’re a galaxy all on her own.
Ayyyyy! The way you hype me ehn, man, I deserve you!
And you’re lucky to have me! 🤩 Thanks, Nomad♥️✨