Dear Stars, it’s been a minute I wrote one of these fun letters. I sure missed them as much as you did, so let’s dive right into today’s. A letter to my third boyfriend, the subtly emotionally manipulative one aka my happiest break-up.
Honestly, I contemplated writing this for so long and there was a time I was sure I wouldn’t write you this letter mainly because you’re now married and we have a cordial relationship now. Told y’all I’m friends with all my exes except the cancelled one, for now.
For the purpose of this letter, we shall call you Aaron.
Dear Best Break-up Aaron,
Oh the lightness and calmness I felt that day as I walked away from your house and you for good, is one I’d never forget in a hurry. I remember padding down that street with a big smile on my face. The joy in my heart was undeniable as Craig David’s “I’m walking away from the troubles in my life… I’m walking away oh, to find a better day”, rang repeatedly in my head.
For sure, I had just dodged a bullet.
Really, I can’t exactly call you a bad person but you were definitely not good for me. You and I were not cut from the same material. Still can’t believe that while we dated I nursed the idea of filing for a divorce two years after we tied the knots yet, foolish me didn’t see that as enough sign to back out. Phew! There was certainly no method to that particular madness.
My beloved friend told me after we broke up that he didn’t recognize who I was when I was with you. In retrospect, I know not who that girl was myself. What everyone attested to though was the fact that she was an unflattering shadow of me.
I mean, who’s the Gelax who doesn’t wear rings and short dresses because her man said so? Who the heck was the Miss Flowery who didn’t hug her friends and burst into random crazy dance moves on the street just because? Can someone please tell me who that girl was who second-guessed who she was and what she’s made of?
That’s definitely not the Bolaji Gelax I know, for sure. Skies, did that girl take craps or what?!
It would be totally unfair to blame you for who I was when we were together. I shouldn’t have given anyone that much power. I should have been more concerned about growing rather than changing myself for you. You had a vision for your ideal woman and foolish me was losing myself to be that for you. As a matter of fact, you get no blame at all. It was all my fault. Omo toyi o gbon.🤦🏻♀️
With you came a vital relationship lesson I’m sure to pass on to anyone who cares to listen, most especially, my siblings and offsprings;
Never ignore red flags and deal breakers in the hope that God will fix it, or you’ll find a way to live with it.
Why would anyone choose to live such life? God doesn’t fix deal breakers neither does He paint red flags green!
Many things I knew I couldn’t and wouldn’t live with yet, for whatever stupid reason, I still took you home to mama. Chai! Nope, it wasn’t a case of blinded love. It simply was the one season of my life that will always humble me. The fact that I was extremely gullible to think I could trade myself and my happiness to be with someone.
Writing that even makes me cringe. Arrgh!
Related: Letter to my first boyfriend
That said, we did have some good times. We laughed a lot. A whole lot. And I must say, I’ve never teased a boyfriend as much as I did you. Jokes didn’t need explaining. Wits were equally matched. Words weren’t required to gossip. Our gists? Absolutely entertainment show worthy! LOL
I’m not sorry our shared love for spaghetti wasn’t strong enough to patch the relationship. Though, I liked that we had that in common even though you threatened we weren’t going to cook spaghetti in our house in the first year of marriage. That scared me for real. But hey, look how God saved me! It’s spaghetti or… never mind.
Dear Aaron, shout out to you for teaching me what I shouldn’t be like in a relationship. Because of you, I know to always be me and only try to be a better version of that, not a totally different one.
If you ever read this letter, please extend my love to your pretty wife and cute baby. I’m genuinely glad you’re theirs.
This letter was written with nothing but immerse gratitude for what could have been but wasn’t. And maybe to tender an apology for wasting your time by not leaving earlier. I truly love and will always be thankful for what we are to each other now. Exes.
Yours once-upon-a-time,
Bolaji Gelax.
•
Wait a minute! Are you following me on socials? What? Common, don’t be a slacker! 🌝
Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube (Tangerine is coming 🤩)
Read 👉 Letter To My Cancelled Boyfriend
•
I. Have. A. Story. Like. This. And. You. Know. It. I have always said I’d get a tattoo with this man’s name or initials. Not because I love him(still do), but to be a constant reminder that this is not what love looks like. Love should not make you change yourself completely.
When I’m ready, I’ll get that tattoo. Just to remind myself that I should never be that girl again. That shadow. I will never write about my story with this man. That is a level of vulnerability I will never share with the world. I’ll take my experiences to the grave.
I though the breakup will kill me. But it didn’t. I survived losing him.
Hmm… I think I know who this is 🤔.
Honestly, I doubt I’d want to write such name on my body but I see where you’re coming from., 👍
Never say never. You just might change your mind soon, you know 😁.
Let’s thank God for the sh&ts we’ve survived. Hallelujah 🙌🏼. Amen?
Shame upon him. It must be hurtfully if you shall take it to the grave. I apologise on his behalf. Please heal and move one but you don’t have to forget.
Continue believing in love because there are good men who will make you almost want to tell that story but you must not.
Telling is hard but it’s healing. Do it in your time if you ever feel comfortable enough but you don’t have to if you must not.
I would however, pay all attension in a face to face phrasal tell-all if you would trust me to be your listener. I am a good listener.
I have got a spontenous question which just popped up in my mind now, is it worth taking with you to etetnal rest? It sounds to me like the kind which will disturb you even in the grave. Never allowing you to rest in eternal peace.
Re-think your decison and if once you do change your mind, remember my wish to be the one and only person that you do tell that story.
Maybe if I take it to the grave, I can still have eternal peace for I am a soul fighter of such jerks.
Keep your peace and great piece here.
Susan Kazooba
You want to be the one and only person who hears the story? That’s not fair 😔🥺
Never ignore red flags and deal breakers.
👆
Life has taught me to deal with every red flag the moment I see it……
My Love, that’s the best thing abeg. To deal with them the moment we sniff or even suspect it. 👌
Thanks for always reading and commenting ❤️✨
You’re welcome my love
😘
I love how lately my am no longer color blind. I can see a red flag from a mile and I don’t wait. I run. Thank you for reminding us to never looses ourselves in the quest for love.💞
Sis!!! Byeeeeeee to colour blindness! We flee from all appearances of evil biko 😄
Thank you for reading and commenting, Star. ❤️✨