My Ex is Getting Married

If you are a regular person who doesn’t want details about you written for public consumption, then, do not have any relationship with a blogger or writer.

– Bolaji Gelax

See, it doesn’t matter what kind of relationship you have with writers/bloggers, because omo boy, they can paint and recreate you in whatever way they please. Even plan your murder and execute you over and again through their pieces. And guess what, such kinda works are usually the bestsellers/award-winners. In whatever way you deal with creatives, it’s a win for them, ’cause they’ll simply turn you into their muse. Ask Adele.

Last week, one of my exes informed me that he was getting married later this month and I was legit over the moon, screaming my lungs out. Trust me, no one screams in excitement about good news louder than me. Without thinking much of it, I uploaded this on my status.

My ex is getting married
🥳🥳🥳

Well… someone asked me why I put that up to which I replied, “why not?”

He then went on to say I could have just written that my friend was getting married instead of writing specifically that it was my ex.

Fast forward to today, this ex of mine put up his pre-wedding pictures which, my gosh, were so beautiful, I was literally awwwning. Of course, I put some of the pictures on my status, but this time, my caption didn’t state who the couple was.

I was watching a YouTube video when my phone began to ring. It was my girlfriend calling.

“Hey, Sugar! What’s up?”
“What’s wrong with you? Are you okay?” She shouted into the phone, over the background noise in the market.
“Yeah, I’m fine…”, I was wondering why she was asking such question without even a hello. So I asked, “What happened?”
“Is that not so-so, your ex, I just saw on your status?”

Ooh… Understanding quickly set in.

“Yes, it’s him. What’s up?” I asked reluctantly. Surely, I knew where the call was heading.

My girlfriend went on to tell me how displeased she was with me. Are you not disturbed your ex is getting married? Are you really comfortable being friends with all your exes? Don’t you ever wonder why you are good friends with them but your romantic relationship with this same people never worked out? These were some of the questions she fired rapidly at me.

I thought she was being overly dramatic so I was just there laughing.

“Have you called just to abuse me or what?” I asked when she paused to catch her breath.

“Oh, I’m not abusing because if I start ehn…”
Anyway, the phone call ended the usual way our conversations do; she calling me mumu (fool) and me telling her I love her too.

Obviously, this post was inspired by my girlfriend’s call and my chat with the other guy. I was just here wondering if it’s me or is there something wrong with the rest of the world and why they expect me to be sad that my ex is getting married? Why do people have ridiculous expectations when it comes to how one is expected to deal with their ex?

I mean, if we date someone and later part ways because the relationship didn’t work out and luckily, no major wounds were sustained, should that stop us for feeling genuine happiness about their progress and publicly celebrating them?

I don’t see a problem with doing that and I doubt if people’s opinion would change that about me. Maybe, just maybe I’d outgrow it (I hope not). But until that happens, I’d keep celebrating people’s wins, exes or not.

Stars, I’m not telling you to be like me, ever the Miss Flowery, who would go up and about to help and celebrate an ex. Truth is, I’ve been lucky with my relationships; many ended because they had to (irreconcilable differences and all those shit). There’s a reason why they are my exes, and I’m more than happy to have it that way. It’s probably why, from here, it would always be ♥️ &✨.

You can read Portrait From My Ex, a piece I wrote on the day one of my exes got married.

And Tope Emiola’s entry on Why I Won’t be Attending My Exes’ Wedding