Perfectly Imperfect: Dealing with my insecurities

I’ve got a couple of things I’m insecured about, yeah, I know I don’t act like it, but I really do. Now, since I’m about to wash my dirty linen in public, I might as well talk about some of the things that are amazing about me.

Well, seeing that the insecurities I’ll be sharing with you today are of my physical features, I’ll be limiting my ‘amazingness talk’ to my body only. I mean, y’all already know I’m super awesome, right! *wink*

Okay, here we go…

Bolaji Gelax - beautiful

With no iota of doubt in me, I know that I am beautiful.

No, scratch that, I am a drop-dead gorgeous lady. And I’ve always been a fine girl. Durrr… have you met my beautiful dark-skinned mama and handsome, weirdly fashion-conscious light-skinned pops?

Bolaji Gelax- coloured dreads
Photo credit: Tobe

I’ve been blessed with a great skin, long fingers, fine nails, straight legs, well proportioned shape, and an enviably full, long hair. Eeerm… Just to mention a few.

Okay fine, enough with the pride!🤭

But really though, if you were to count the beautiful people you know who carry themselves confidently, I bet you’d remember my name. Isn’t it? However, this doesn’t mean I do not have insecurities; things I would absolutely love to change or improve about my physical features.

A while ago, I wrote about my childhood insecurity, a piece that funnily got me a job (story for another day).

But, beneath all the agreed gorgeousness and confidence, here are some things I’m insecured about:

1. My Hips

Or should I say the lack of it. Yo, Stars, I have ZERO hips! And no, I’m not straight, but hollowed.

You’d have to zoom out

Arrrgh! It happens that where normal people have their hips and where mine is supposed to shoot out from is indented. And I’m talking big holes, people!

No jokes! It’s like someone (a wicked aunty, grandma or nurse) punched me in that spot when I was a baby.

Because, I legit have holes instead of hips. Can you imagine?!

I’ve always thought that is the funniest part of my body and I openly joke about it, a lot.

I tell people that maybe luck would shine on me when I start having sex and by some wonder, my hips would miraculously appear. Amen?

2. My Boobs

If you know me well, you’d know that I’m an ass girl. I like men and women with a nice well-shaped ass. Kissing, for me, is more enjoyable when my man has some flesh in his butt I can grab onto.

So, what’s my problem with boobs, you ask?

I prefer smaller but firm boobs. And although my boobs are small, they aren’t that firm.

This is sad because I don’t like bras. I wish I could go around town never having to worry about “carrying” my breasts. But as it stands, these boobies of mine most of the time, need some support and uplifting.

3. My Teeth

Y’all, I love love love to smile and laugh. It’s one of my favourite things to do. Howbeit, of all my parents’ offsprings, I happen to have the worst dentition.

You don’t want to know how many really nice pictures I’ve had to delete because well… my teeth were looking funny in them.😅

It’s crazy when you have to take pictures and you’re subconsciously worried about the angles that would favour your dentition. (I’m reeling with laughter here).

WARNING: My dentition never perfect, I dey smile and laugh anyhow up & down like person wey win jackpot, when I come fix my teeth penre like this ehn! Una go hear am, walahi! I go use smile wound person una tire.

Don’t say I did not warn you now o, ehn en 😁.

On a serious note…

Everyone has at least one thing that makes them feel insecure. It may not be as obvious as mine, or yours, but it’s there. Now, while it’s okay to admire people and wish you had what they have, it’s totally not okay to hate on yourself.

Just as there are two sides to a coin, every single person on this earth has something abso-freaking-lutely awesome about them as well. This includes YOU, my dearest Star.

That’s your strength. Find it, capitalize on it, work on and with your great angles, and worry a little less about the weaknesses/imperfections you cannot change.

You see, I can’t and won’t do anything about my indented hips, so, I’ve learnt to live with it and even joke about it.

My dentition, I know can be fixed, but until then, I’ve decided not to focus on it. I’ve had close friends call me vampire many times because of my dentition. What do I do? I have a good laugh with them about it. After all, wouldn’t it be a shame to let a few askew teeth define me?

Some perspire to aspire talk…

This principle does not just apply to body talks or physical insecurities. There is a lesson in this for any and every other aspects of life. Learn to focus on and appreciate the good things (and people) in your life, work on the improveables, let go of the excess baggage and worry less about the things that you cannot change.
No one is perfectly perfect, that’s why you must make the decision to embrace your perfectly imperfect self.

Finally…

Star, you may be broken, hollowed, indented, scarred, sickly, weird, abnormal or not-so-good-looking, BUT you are beautiful, and wonderful, and special.

The best part is that even with all of your imperfections, you are the most perfectly imperfect version of you there can ever be. LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF!

“To love yourself is to understand that you don’t need to be perfect.”

– Anonymous

PS: Did I mention that my once flat tummy went with the lockdown? Oh well, I have a sac now… LOL.

Bolaji Gelax
Photo credit: Daniel Ose
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Bolaji Gelax

Hey, Star! Thanks for stopping by my world. I'm a gorgeous, sassy radio junkie who enjoys playing devil's advocate. I love everything that makes me happy, which includes the Stars in my #Galaxy. They call me MISS FLOWERY because I bring good vibes, love and light. Feel free to explore my world ❤✨

28 thoughts on “Perfectly Imperfect: Dealing with my insecurities

  1. I hate my feet. I hate hate hate em. I hate my legs, they aren’t straight. I hate my teeth. They are big. But I am vain af! Because thighs, ass, and waist??? Naaaah! Ps. I have holes too.

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  2. Girl this is perfect! 🤧
    Thank you for sharing this with us and for making me smile.
    I have definitely learnt something from you. Also, your confidence can be felt through my phone screen and I’m trying to be like that!! 😂
    You are beautiful ❤

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    1. Oh, how I want to hug you Wonani! 🤗🤗🤗

      You inspired this post, so that you plenty plenty plenty plenty, my darling. ♥️✨

      I’m glad you learnt something 😘

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  3. This post should have been titled: “Bolaji, unveiled!”
    I enjoyed reading until I got to the dentition part, please send me the contact of those that called you ‘Vamparina’ I go comot their teeth just now! I totally disagree with them!
    As for me, hmm, apart from my dentition that need urgent attention, I don’t have any part of my body that makes me feel insecure.
    I’ve learnt to love me with my big stomach, outstanding boobs, knock knee, tiny lips that turn pink and shrink when I kiss, small nose that reduces my dosage of oxygen, feet as wide as a villager’s who has never won a shoe before, eyes that don’t allow me read from a distance and hipless bumbum.
    Awesome, ain’t I?

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  4. My flat tummy too went with the lockdown. But I be dry rock am confidently like a confident woman that I am.

    NB: trying to exercise to get back in shape though, but without any pressure at all.

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  5. The only insecurity I am facing right now is money insecurity.

    When I secure the bag, I will fix my teeth and do a tummy tuck procedure after giving birth to my 17 boys.

    It is normal for us to hate on our imperfections, but those imperfections makes us humans.

    We just gotta learn to love and live with it. (And fix the ones we can)

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  6. You just gave me a title for my next post that said I love your perfect imperfections, I will tell you why the boychild never frets about perfection, we are damn ugly what beautifies us are the attributes and characters,.. but we serve a living God

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    1. 😂😂😂😂

      I swear, I’ve had the best laugh on this post. Y’all keep unleashing the dragons in you and I love eeeet!

      But no, I don’t think boys are ugly. And I’ve met many men who are so vain, it’s disturbing! 😁

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  7. I love it that you’re open about your insecurities. It’s rare for girls to be open about such especially that booty.

    My insecurities? My teeth I guess, people say my smile is dope but to me, I fear to smile sometimes. I chipped my two front teeth when I was playing back in high school.

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  8. I have only one insecurity and it’s that y’all can’t see my greatness. It’s not even an insecurity… It’s your problem. Can’t y’all see my greatnessssssssssssssss?!

    Anyway, all these “imperfections” only seem to make you perfect tho (even though I’m still fresher than you 😏)

    Anyway, this reminds me of a story I once encountered…

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