Secret Valentine Letters

Last weekend, I was thinking of what to do for my colleagues at work for Valentine. A number of ideas crossed my mind but as they did, the lightness of my pocket snuffed them out… (January was way too long mehn)

But these are really amazing people right and my love language is giving people gifts so, I decided to write everyone a personal love note, anonymously.

Yesterday after close of work, my colleague (who co-wrote the letters with me) and I stayed back to finish the letters and print them without anyone suspecting. My team would have guessed who wrote the letters if we had written them with our hands, and we didn’t want that. We got to work very early this morning, taped each person’s letter to their desk and took off after making the office keeper promise she wasn’t going to tell anyone what she saw.

Dearest, we roamed about my office estate for good 40 minutes, just so we could get back to work late enough to make the plan work. Pheeew! I was exhausted.

Anyway, when we eventually made our way back to the office, what we saw made our effort gratifying. Everyone was gushing, blushing and ‘awwwing‘ about their Valentine letter. Quickly, my accomplice and I discovered that the office also had plans. There was a brown envelope with a hand-written Valentine note from the office management on everyone’s desk as well! It was such a beautiful sight seeing how loved that made us all feel.

Yup! My boss & his management team are the absolute best!

However, the office notes to us led to more confusion. “Who wrote the anonymous letters?”

Everyone was curious. Even the management… LOL. Names were flying around in guesses and even though my name was the most mentioned, nobody could pin it on me. You see, getting an accomplice to write the letters with me meant none of the letters sounded exactly like me or him. We were also deliberate about using words and phrases commonly used by our other colleagues which made it more difficult for anyone to pinpoint who wrote the letters.

Pretty smart, right? I know!

Below are the secret Valentine letters written to my colleagues.

Dear Augustina,

Love comes in different forms and ways. Love can come in a language sweeter than tongues, too.

But today, I wish you love everlasting and love in English style. I wish you a British accented love on this Valentine’s Day.

Dear Ayotunde,

Love is not a bed of roses but love is a stream of emotions. Love does not speak a language of punctuation. Love is free like a bird.

On this Valentine’s Day, I wish you a love unhinged, a love unedited; an executive love that’s as true and pure as Dove. Happy Valentine’s Day.

PS: Please, don’t edit this note.

Dear Daniel,

Now that you are a married man, no more singular love for you. I bet you already have plans for today.

Chai, God when will my time come?

I wish you love inseparable today. On this first Valentine as a married man, I wish you many more married Valentine with more money and happiness.

Dear Evi,

On this Valentine’s Day, I wish you a high-class-Lekki-kinda love, but more importantly, I wish you a love that won’t be stuck in traffic.

May love remain with you like a dying wish on this Valentine’s Day and forever. Have a wonderful day today.

Dear Felix,

On this first Val as a married man, I wish you more strength and love to express your love to the woman that makes your heart go gaga

(even though it’s only on WhatsApp I have seen you express it).

I pray that someday, you’ll have enough time and money for a cruise around the world for love.

And thanks for being less-Hitler, for opening up some bits of that heart of yours around the office. 

Happy Valentine’s Day to you and HER.

Dear George of many colours,

May your love never run short of the bundle of colours, light and happiness you are to this office.

On this special day of love, may you never come too early. May you find more busty love wherever you turn, and may it spill an overload of joy.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Dear Kehinde,

Even though you won’t let us rest with your virgin anthem, I wish you a double-fold Valentine today.

I speak some first time blessing into your life today, and I wish you a high-sounding accomplishment.

I also pray that everywhere you go, may your way be paved and wet with favour before you come. Happy Valentine.

Dear Joy,

The fiercely wonderful barefooted poet.

The only semi-final complete Nigerian who speaks Yoruba and Igbo fluently.

Though you are almost a complete Wazobia, I wish you a completely beautiful Valentine.

I wish you could read us a love poem today but if you don’t, I forgive you already. Happy Valentine, Joy to the word.

Dear Tobi,

Tobi Tobi, I wish you a love as strong, hard-working and enough as you. You deserve all the beautiful things love and life have to offer.

I pray that the love you will experience on this wonderful day of love and forever, will be a love you will always be proud of.

May those natural resources never run dry.

I wish you a bootylicious Valentine.

Dear Rachel,

I think you are reserved but I also think there is more to you.

May this season of love reveal all of the sweet and beautiful things inside you to us.

I don’t know if you have found the boo-kind of love yet, but if you have not, I pray that it comes like a mighty rushing wind and sweep you off your feet, arms and belly.

And if you have found, may it last more than Methuselah. Happy Valentine.

Dear Precious,

Precilicious the visible, I wish you a true and genuine love today.

I am praying that you will find love that will choke you with love, money, that one that I cannot use all my mouth to say, and more money.

I really pray all your heart desires come to pass. Do have a wonderful celebration today (even if you have to celebrate only yourself today)

Happy Valentine.

Dear Abigail,

I know today is going to be a really long one for you, considering you are recently single.

Which is why I am sending you this cute note to wish you HAPPY VALENTINE, may this be the last Val you celebrate without love.

Oh, maybe you should stay off social media today so you won’t be reminded of HIM. Anyway, have fun and please, stop being a winch.

Dear Ayobami,

Hope the love you’ve found keeps bringing you happiness, joy and more inspiration for ‘psychoness’.

On this day, I wish you more pepper to your rice, more okro to your eba, more words to your bandwidth and more funny to your skits. HAPPY VALENTINE, Psycho.

Dear Angel,

On this day of love, I pray the angels bring love your way. I pray today’s sea breeze blows joy your way.

I pray today’s sunshine make your smile shine brighter and I pray HAPPY be your new found best friend this VALENTINE.

Dear Chinonso,

Every day, you work tirelessly to take this company to the next level and I am glad it’s all paying off.

Look, your ‘baby’ is an award-winning company already.

On this day, I wish you more love than you ever thought possible. May your oil never run dry. May your keypads never fall off.

May your generator become a plant and may your capacity never reduce. Please, can this be your last VALENTINE as a single man? Thank you.

Dear Juwon,

It’s been two weeks and honestly, it’s more than enough time to know you but you seem to be very intent on hiding YOU from the rest of us.

Hmmm… what am I to say about you? I guess that will have to wait until next time (better pray there is a next time).

On this day, I wish you love (do you even have a girlfriend?), I wish you happiness and I wish you open yourself more to us.

We’ll like to know the real you.

Till then, HAPPY VALENTINE.

Dear Nkechi,

The one and only Selfie Queen herself, got any plans for today? Whatever your plans are, please make sure you go home by 5pm. Thank you.

On a bit more serious note, I pray this day comes with a brand new iPhone for you so you can let the other iPhone users in the office rest.

But, whatever it brings, don’t lose your beautiful smile over what you cannot control. HAPPY VALENTINE Miss Photogenic.

Dear Noah,

Prof., Prof.! You are the most selfless being in this office.

On this day, I pray that you do such great academic works that your name will be mentioned alongside Socrates, Aristotle, Plato, Soyinka, Achebe and St. Augustine.

May you find a love that matches your hunger, a love as selfless as your heart, and a love as big as cup D ‘cause I know you like ‘em Manchesters big… hehehe.

HAPPY VALENTINE, our office Husband Material.

Dear Married Woman,

I know say we no go hear am today, please, go easy on the single ones. Don’t let people’s lonely children to go and hug transformer.

Also, please softly on the FELLOWSHIP tonight.

I pray this day for a strengthened love between you and your husband.

I pray no one snatches you from him and any woman’s daughter that tries to take your hubby from you will be electrocuted #NoMercy.

HAPPY VALENTINE, madam Tory Teller.

And of course, to erase any suspicion, I made sure, there was a letter for me written by my accomplice. Here’s mine:

Dear Gelax,

Gelax oh baby! Ever the playful and carefree lady.

On this day of celebration of love, I wish you a Valentine like the light and fire you emit. I pray that you find a love that sparks like diamond.

I also pray that this Valentine is the birth of galaxies, your desires, peace of mind and miracles for you. Happy Valentine.

It was a beautiful day at work today.

Did I mention that it was highly appreciated? The first 60 minutes into work and throughout the day, peeps were just trying hard to guess who the culprit was. That was what everyone talked about and Abigail was so moved by the gesture that she cried.

Skies! I can’t even start explaining in words how this made me feel. It was really cute and absolutely worth it. I’m glad Noah & I made that happen.

I’d love to read about how you celebrated your Valentine’s Day in the comment section.

Pictures shared are with the permission of the management of Sabi Writers, Africa’s award-winning wholly writing agency.