Single Celibate Christian: Horny? Something is wrong with you!

You: But you are a Christian and celibate, how can you be horny?

Me: Because the hormones in my body do not know if I am a Christian, Muslim, atheist, agnostic or whatever, that’s why!

Bolaji Gelax

I remember this one time I was with my friend, and we got talking about boys. She looked at me and asked if I knew how to kiss. I paused to look at her,

“Are you kidding?”

Nope, she was dead serious.

She told me she knew I kiss quite all right, but the one time she tried to picture me kissing a guy, she couldn’t, because I was celibate. I thought that was funny.

***

I had a clique back in Uni, and one day we were talking about the other ladies’ boyfriends and all. I happened to be the only one who was single amongst the four of us. Then my three friends agreed I was the one friend they could allow sleepover at their boyfriend’s place alone because THEY KNEW NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN. That was like one of the funniest things I’ve heard.

I mean, no, I wouldn’t try anything with my friend’s man because that’s not who I am, but please, assuming nothing could happen because I wasn’t sexually active was something I thought was ridiculous. For reals?! I think people need to read my previous post on celibacy.

I was a guest on the delightful Connie Dia’s (a blogger from Uganda) blog where we both addressed some of the misconceptions people have about those choosing to wait. Please check it out. It’s funny what people think about celibates. And that’s why I’m doing this Single Celibate Christian series to share some of my experiences and that of others.

Now back to today’s gist.

The fact is, celibates get horny just as those who are sexually active. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either lying or dealing with a medical condition, and that’s on periodt!

The point here is what you do, as someone who has taken the vow of celibacy, when you are horny.

But just before I get into that, let me tell you a story about an incident that happened to me as a teenager. I was a young girl who had vowed to be celibate but found out that I enjoyed watching pornography.


How old were you when you watched your first porn? 9, 13, 15, 18 or 21?

Well, I don’t know when my first time was but, I remember watching Spartacus, and trust me, a film doesn’t get more blue than that. What?!

Here is the gist:

I think I was in 100 level in OAU, and practically everyone on campus was talking about this Spartacus series. I just had to watch it. I bought the DVD, but unfortunately, my school or ASUU was on strike then, which meant I had to take it home to watch.

I remember inserting the disk in the DVD player and sitting on the couch with my legs folded under me in my father’s parlour. I like to watch movies in a dimly lit environment, so I dropped the curtains and turned off the lights, save a coloured bulb on the chandelier hanging right at the centre of the sitting room. I was alone in the house; my parents had gone out, and my siblings were in school.

I pressed play on the remote and adjusted as the show began. Lo, it didn’t take too long before the scenes turned into pornography.

Quickly, I pressed pause.

“What is this?” I asked my father’s blank TV.

Something told me to turn it off. I was a young Christian girl who wasn’t ready to have sex, why was I watching a movie that was so raw and making my body do gish-gish. Then I felt my pant getting wet. “Oh Jesus, what is going on?”

I felt guilty and good at the same time.

This was weird. Why did it feel so good to watch people ‘doing the do’ on camera? They looked like they were enjoying it and in a way, subtly inviting me to be a part of it.

But nah, this was wrong. I’m a born again Christian, I shouldn’t be responding to this ‘sin’ the way my body was. I shouldn’t even be watching it at all. “What if the trumpet sounds now, will I make heaven?” I asked my mortal self.

In spite of the battle going on in my mind against my body, I sat there on my father’s couch too fascinated and curious that I picked up the remote and kept on watching.

Now, if you ever saw Spartacus, then you’d agree with me that it had a good storyline. So nope, it may not just have been the eroticism that kept me glued to the TV. I went from shouting “eeew” to “hmm”. I couldn’t stop myself from rewinding every scene they were naked or having sex just to devour the act, even though I felt like a sinner.

PHAM!

The screen suddenly went blank. I was jolted back to my reality –Nigeria– where NEPA (the power holding authority) act like they were doing us a huge favour by providing the electricity they outrageously bill us for.

Two seconds after the power cut, the wires in my head connected. I realized I was in trouble. Oh, my goodness! The DVD was still in the player. What if power was restored when I’m not at home or too far away to quickly remove the disk? What if my Mumsy decides to put on the generator at night?

Gosh! I almost died that day. See me monitoring NEPA, and the sitting room like my destiny depended on it.

Thankfully, when Mumsy came back home, she was tired and not in the mood for the generator noise. And of course, my NEPA people didn’t restore electricity until midnight when everyone else had gone to bed. You needed to have seen the speed at which your girl ran out of her room to remove the disk. That was how God saved me oh…hmm.

I can laugh about it now, but it wasn’t funny back then. That’s definitely one of my most unforgettable memories, ever!

Anyway, after that incident, I found myself wondering why I reacted to Spartacus that way. Did my body not get the memo about me wanting to be celibate? How can I wait if all I thought about was the erotic scenes from the movie, and each time, my pant got wet?

I was convinced something was wrong with me. I prayed that the erotic scenes would leave my head. I prayed that my pant would stop getting wet. I was almost Eighteen years old around this time, yet, I had no explanation for what was going on with me. The worst part was that I didn’t know who to talk to about it. I was feeling so ashamed.

However, that did not stop me from watching Spartacus until the end. I succumbed to the voice that said it wasn’t a crime to feel as good as I felt watching it. So, I would sit with my legs crossed tightly, arms folded under my bosom with clenched fists while a ripple of pleasure that made my whole body shake passed.

There was a tingly feeling in my private part that was begging to be itched. It felt like my body was rebelling against my mind. I was home alone during the day for months and felt very horny most of the time. I thought about doing things to myself to satisfy those sexual urges. The pressure was high.

I needed so badly to talk to someone, anyone who wouldn’t judge me for watching Spartacus in the first place or for how good I felt watching those erotic scenes and wanting more.

While the rush felt so good, immediately after the moment passed, I was always overwhelmed with guilt. Whenever I said my morning prayers or read my bible, I heard a voice whispering, “You are a sinner”.

To think I had to battle with this on my own for months before school resumed. Boy, it was a struggle!

Let me not lie to you, if my reason for choosing to be celibate was because my father said, “If you get pregnant, just know that is the end of your education”, or because my proprietress in secondary school told me that if a man touched my dress, I’d get pregnant, I would have found someone (or something) to penetrate me and help me experience what I saw on TV.

That’s why I always tell people, don’t go the celibacy path because that’s what your pastor or mama told you to do. You must have a strong reason for it; otherwise, when the urge to have sex is high, you will be ‘doing the do’ before you even finish pronouncing the word prick!

Now, back to the question of what to do when horny, as a celibate, my honest answer is, I DON’T KNOW. I can’t state categorically what works for me because there are days my techniques don’t even work on me.

But here are some tips I employ when I’m horny:

1.. I try to take my mind off it

2. I try to avoid being in an environment that fuels the urges

3. I watch some funny videos or listen to loud music to distract me

4. I eat or drink water

5. I pray about it (I used to)

6. I remind myself of why I’ve chosen to be celibate.

But what works for me the most is

7. I allow myself enjoy the moment, reminding myself I am a sexual human being, and it’s very normal to feel horny. After which, I snap out of it.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? Please share your thoughts with me in the comment section

Don’t forget that I’ll be sharing my stories/experience about my life as a Single Celibate Christian here, every Saturday. Set your reminder and make it a date. ❤✨

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Bolaji Gelax

Hey, Star! Thanks for stopping by my world. I'm a gorgeous, sassy radio junkie who enjoys playing devil's advocate. I love everything that makes me happy, which includes the Stars in my #Galaxy. They call me MISS FLOWERY because I bring good vibes, love and light. Feel free to explore my world ❤✨

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43 thoughts on “Single Celibate Christian: Horny? Something is wrong with you!

  1. Phew!

    Feeling horny is NOT A SIN.

    I wish CHRISTIAN youths would understand this and stop feeling guilty whenever sexual urges arise.

    This is a completely NORMAL biological process. It is what you do with the ‘horniness’ that matters.

    I am a single christian Nigerian female who feels horny especially when I am ovulating.

    I have stopped feeling ‘ashamed’ about it when the scales fell off my eyes a long ago.

    So, I enjoy my horniness in peace or sleep it off when I don’t want to..

    Kudos Gelax.

    Looking forward to the next post.

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    1. Kikikiii… louder please!

      Let’s not even start with the ovulation period because I don’t get why the hormones get so wild then… phew!

      Thanks plenty plenty, Bam. Wait for it, Saturday is almost here.😂

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  2. Body no be firewood!!!

    Chai. Ko easy. But we thank God for the grace and strength to stay on course especially in this highly sexualized world that we live in.

    This was fun to read. I wonder what would have happened if mum had seen that CD. O kpari. 😂😂😂

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    1. We thank God. Let’s not even start imagining that please. If she had caught me ehn, maybe I’d be handicapped now because… hmmm. Let’s sha be thanking God 😂😂

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  3. Okay let me confess I have been waiting for this post since 177.
    Firstly, thanks a zillion for sharing your experience with us, not an easy one especially on such a delicate issue, it takes guts babe and I love you more for that.
    I have been exactly where you are right now and coupled with the fact that I kuku like hanging around guys it was a complex situation.
    Being horny is absolutely normal, in fact anyone who does get horny is not okay.
    Bottom line is that you can still control your body and that’s what matters.
    I also like your suggestion, they’re very realistic and workable.
    Sending you plenty hugs for this post!

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    1. Yaaay! I’m glad the teaser worked.

      You’re welcome plenty plenty plenty, Mammy. You know I love you too.

      Yes, we can control our body and the raging hormones.

      I’m glad you think so. Thank you! ❤✨

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  4. The world rarely uses DVD players again, but for those who still do, we had a way around it back in the days if electricity was interrupted while we were watching movies. We would unscrew the DVD player, unscrew a bridge that was always on top the disc to fetch our exhibit.

    About horniness, it is highly natural and biological. Like every other psychosomatic negotiations within the human biological nature, it can, however, be regulated, controlled or even repressed.

    But personally ooooooo, I am not repressing shit; nothing beats that sexual feeling. Sensuality is the most rewarding (I believe) and most gratifying non-substance reward when it comes to bodily pleasure.
    When it catches up with me, in appropriate quarters, I welcome it with open arms, smile and kisses.

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    1. Stop teaching my Stars bad bad things… LOL. I guess boys knew that trick more. I don’t think I know where the screwdriver in my father’s house is.

      Wait, let me google ‘psychosomatic negotiations’. I’m back… now I get what you mean😂

      Dear Àbúrò Socrates, with no form of judgment whatsoever, I am sending you off with closed arms, smiles and no kisses… WHAT!!! 😂😂😂

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    1. Yes, each celibates must learn to deal with it in their own way.

      Gracias muchos, Connie. ❤✨ S

      aturday is now the new FUNday!

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        1. I wrote part of that. But as someone said you are a good writer. I mean your interplay of words and the subject matter is something sweeter. The subject matter is good in a world where the most talked sh*t is sex, sex and sex. Then talking of the remnant (not in its perfectly religious sense) is ‘gooder’.

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          1. Oh dear! I’m sending you my next salary😁 you are way too kind ❤

            Please drop your link here so my Stars could show you some love. Thank you plenty plenty plenty ❤✨

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  5. A great job gal. I am a sexually active male (dormant for a while now) and also I am a Christian, but then I am human, I have needs and feelings, there would always be that tingling in my balls, and like you rightly stated, active or not konji must get you, its just a ho(e)rmo(moan)nal war. In between you write well babe, love ya ❤

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    1. Hello, dormant sexually active human being 😁

      That’s right, konji knows no gender or religion.

      Thank you plenty plenty plenty, Nathan.❤✨

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  6. I am back. Ehn ehn, Àbúrò Socrates is just smart and a bit crafty ni oooo.
    Chai, see horny Stars and their comments here and there. Anyways, Freud says it already that at the core of human instinct to life is the “Eros” – this sexuality.

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  7. Interesting and educative Piece. Thanks for sharing your experience and possible tips to help fight that sweet Sexual urge as a celibate. I remember vividly how i almost got addicted to masturbation after watching erotic movies during a phase in my life (I intentionally didn’t date any lady for 2 years and 8 months) some of the tips you gave were helpful to me as i strived to quit that habit. Guess what one of my reasons for masturbating then was ? I will rather *wank* than sleep with a random girl🙈. I also remember praying myself out of the habit while I also disciplined my thoughts. I must confess that I enjoyed being a celibate but i wasn’t really proud of the habit I adopted while I was one.

    Meanwhile, Bolaji…… Goan Marry 😋😋😋

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    1. Thank you more for reading and commenting ❤

      I really would love to write about masturbation, but I don’t have enough experience to share. Let’s see how it goes sha 🤔

      Thank God for deliverance😁

      Papa, leave me alone o. Is it your marriage? 😏

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      1. Before I go to the topic, pls bless us with the smur wisdom you have gathered from the smur experience you have, don’t leave us…don’t leave us 😋

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      2. Its our marriage o… Looking forward to drilling the lucky dude and of course, he needs to comman pay hommage.

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      3. I will be here to help out when eventually you are ready to write about masturbation…. Anything for my PET 😘

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  8. What?! If this isn’t me? 😂😂The proprietress part just off me. The way the woman drummed Prov1:10 in our ears ehn, the devil must have been living inside you to try exploring the “horniness”. Thank God for pastors that will help you understand some of these discussions around sex and sexuality. In my 100lvl days in OAU, my pastor had to be deliberate about preaching on SEXUALITY! He made us embrace our sexuality rather than embarrass ourselves. Let’s not even talk about ovulation period🤫
    You see fine boy laidis and you’re all wet! You’re wondering, fadalawd what really occur?🤔
    Thank you for sharing this… Shey we cannur fast track the weekly to daily ni? I’m asking for Baba Attack 😂🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

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    1. You were lucky to have pastors who talked about it. Mine were Jesus’ stepbrothers and sisters, never to be caught discussing such… Phew! 🤦

      Ovulation period are the wildest wildest!

      What’s life without a dash of suspense? Stay glued to your gadget, Saturday is almost here😉

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  9. Interesting story, as the devil’s advocate in this story, in what ways have you not followed your scripts to keeping things tight down there, I’m sure there were close calls, I am inta-rested in them, thank you ma. 😌

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    1. Y’all shall read about the close calls in another episode. Keep your fingers crossed and stay glued to Miss Flowery’s World.😉

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  10. I read it once…ponder a bit, (mostly on my experience) then went back to read again. And all I can say is RESPECT.

    🙌🙌🙌

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