Single Celibate Christian: What If I’m A Lesbian?

“What if you are a lesbian?”

“But I’m not”.

“How would you know? It’s not like you’ve been with any man before”.

Durr… I had a boyfriend in secondary school, remember?”

“Yes, that could be because you did not know yourself”.

“What? Babe, stop. I know myself, I know what I like, and it’s men”.

“Yes, you like men but do you like prick?” She paused.

“You know, I sometimes worry about how you have many guys around, but you never agree to date any of them. Why is that?”

“Because…”

“Because what?” She cut in

“Because I don’t like them that way”. I shrugged.

That caused her to sit up. “You see, that’s my point exactly. You like them, but you don’t see yourself being with them”.

“That’s not true”, I said shaking my head.

“BJ, I don’t know any girl in our class or in this school at all who has as many male friends as you do”.

I laughed.

“That’s not true. You are only exaggerating”.

“Have you kissed X before?”

“No! Why would I kiss him?”

“Why wouldn’t you? You and X are so close, too close sef, and you haven’t kissed him before”.

This was ridiculous.

“Babe, X is my friend, just as you are, why should I kiss him? Have I kissed you before?”

She threw a disgusted look my way.

“He is not just your friend. That boy likes you, but you are a mumu, doing as if you don’t know he likes you”.

“Did he tell you he likes me?”

“He doesn’t need to tell me. Everyone in the faculty knows he likes you. Why haven’t you kissed him? Has he ever tried to kiss you or something?”

I stood up. I was done having this conversation.

“No, he hasn’t. I don’t even know why we are talking about this”.

“Because you’ve refused to date anyone or even kiss them”.

Chuckling, “Believe it or not, I’ve kissed more guys in this school than you have your whole life, so stop tripping”.

“Lie lie! You’re lying”.

“You really do underestimate me, don’t you?”

“It’s a lie, BJ. You are only saying that because you don’t want to have this conversation with me”.

I had a good laugh before responding to that.

“I like that you think I’m a saint. Really, I’m flattered. But I am not and now, we are done having this conversation”.

“Wait wait, just promise me one thing”.

“What?” I rolled my eyes.

“Promise me that I will be the first person you’ll tell when you find out you’re…”

“That I am what?”

“I’m serious, you can never be too sure you are not”.

“There’s nothing to find out, I. Am. Not. A. Lesbian”. I punched each word for emphasis.

“Hmm… just think about it”. She called after me just before I slammed the door behind me.

***

A few years after that conversation with my dearest friend, I found myself thinking about it again. I was approaching my mid-twenties, and for some reason, I was getting comfortable being single. I mean, there were a couple of guys seriously on my case, even talking marriage, but I always found an excuse not to give them the green light. Dr Tea had once mentioned that he thought I was afraid of commitment, while one of my sisters said she thought I was too choosey. A guy told me I was too proud and that I would grow old and lonely because I had a picture of what kinda man I wanted in my head. Rubbish! Well, they can say or think whatever they like but I refused to date because I WAS TOO BROKE.

I know that might sound weird but it’s my truth. I like to be in a relationship when I can spoil my partner as much as he spoils me. He doesn’t have half head, does he?

Anyway, I remembered that conversation I had with my friend and I decided to find out if there was more to me liking my single state than my ‘broke excuse’.

Do I really like women? Am I just making excuses to avoid facing the truth? I know I like fine ladies, especially those with ass and hips, but I never thought much about it. I only like to admire the good work of God. I don’t think that makes me a lesbian, or does it? But for some reason, I decided to ask what people thought.

“Guys! Can you believe my friend thinks I’m a lesbian?”
“Are you not?” 
“Wait, what? You think I’m not straight?”
“Are you straight?”

That was the conversation between my younger sister and me when I uploaded the first line on my WhatsApp status. I couldn’t believe it. As it turned out a lot more persons thought I might not be straight, especially guys from my university days who apparently had a thing for me but I had friend-zoned or totally ignored.

I didn’t believe in dating people just for the fun of it, especially after what happened in my shortest relationship. Moreover, you can hardly tell when I’m dating, except you are in my inner circle. I am not a DP, status and social media boo-displaying girl. I like to keep my relationships private until I’m ready to go public. However, I have been in a couple of relationships, so, I really don’t get why anyone would think I’m a lesbian.

Well, maybe I know why. After all, I have more male besties, I don’t act like your regular girl girl, I don’t allow myself get flattered by men and my male friends refer to me as, “Bro” or “Guy”.

I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve had people question my sexuality because I don’t talk about marriage like other girls do, I make being single look cool, and I’ve chosen to be celibate. It’s like it is hard for some folks to believe that someone with my personality can ever be all these and straight.

Yes, I’m assertive and independent. I am a smart lady with a strong persona who’s not having sex, but hey,

I AM FRIGGIN’ STRAIGHT!

Enjoyed this episode? You can also read episodes one, two, three, four, six, seven and eight of the Single Celibate Christian series.

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Bolaji Gelax

Hey, Star! Thanks for stopping by my world. I'm a gorgeous, sassy radio junkie who enjoys playing devil's advocate. I love everything that makes me happy, which includes the Stars in my #Galaxy. They call me MISS FLOWERY because I bring good vibes, love and light. Feel free to explore my world ❤✨

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17 thoughts on “Single Celibate Christian: What If I’m A Lesbian?

  1. Sha do quick, and don’t buy land in singles kingdom. But, if na born you wan born without ties, let us know, we can help you. 😋

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  2. Whether you’re heterosexual or homosexual, it’s a matter of which gender your sexuality responds to at points in time. The gender and people we are sexually attracted to are all made up in our minds as ideas. The very fact that you’re/were waiting to only go into a relationship when and with whom you please attests to this assertion.

    Also, your reason is valid – so I believe. Both men and women should enter into a relationship when they believe they are ready and should not allow themselves be pressured by society.

    Relationship can be expensive, especially with all these social media paparazzis and extravagance these days. If one is not careful and contended, one would be intimidated into biting more than they can chew.

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    1. Who we are sexually attracted to are all made up in our minds as ideas? I don’t think I follow.

      Yes, please, no pressure ❎

      I like me a spoiling from both partners relationships. It makes love sweeter😉

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      1. Every ‘sexual’ human has an idea of the kind of person they can be sexually attracted to and interested in. This idea is made up of compositions such as how they look, talk, are made of, social and religious background, smile, demeanour, etc. All of these compositions remain in our minds as ideas.

        All of the above compositions are individually negotiated while the gender is socially constructed by what theorists such as Judith Butler call ‘Theory of Performativity’ which means that what we believe to be norms are so because we, over time, have come to accept them as the ‘truth’ and the only way of life and understanding human nature.

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  3. I did date someone I really, loved but they too questioned my sexuality. Another babe a friend found out play rugby and they told me they thought I was gay. I want to do a blog about a gentleman who confessed there love for me. So I kinds know a bit of where you have been

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    1. Wait, someone you dated still questioned your sexuality? Interesting.

      I love forward to reading the blog post.

      Thanks for stopping by, as always, Ben. ❤✨

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  4. Okay! I am tolerant of the LGBT community and won’t judge, but thank goodness you are FRIGGIN’ STRAIGHT! 🏃🏃🚶🚶

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  5. Ha ha! Most people thought I was of the never get married sort but it’s funny to see how clueless people are.😂😂😂

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