I know! The title must have shaken you… hehe

Sometimes my head can have a whole conversation that never really gets to the mouth; but lately I have been thinking about how when we (women) are in love, our brain takes a break and suddenly all we think about is the fact that we are in love, how the person we are in love with makes us laugh and all that giddy stuff. We so much lose ourselves that it only takes little effort before we get dickmatized.

Eva met Thomas. He was everything she wanted in a man – tall, dark and handsome. From the frequent phone calls to the drop offs, pickups and the lovely random text messages; think of any romantic thing, Thomas was it! She trusted him with everything and they had even started having sex. They had gotten to the stage where she trusts him enough for them to be having casual conversations about marriage.

In just a few weeks, Eva couldn’t stopped raving to her friends about finding “the one”. When she finally told her mother about him, she wanted to know more about this man like how old he was, where he worked, where he lived, who his people were and if she (Eva) had met them, etc.

Unfortunately, Eva had no answer to any of these questions. Instead, she got super defensive, snapped, and accused her mother of not being happy for her.

The next day when Thomas came to pick her up for work, she decided to ask him some of the questions her mum had asked; but before Thomas could respond, his phone {which was in the glove compartment} started ringing. Instinctively, Eva opened it to retrieve the ringing phone only to see “wifey” calling.

With an expression between shock and confusion, she turned to him and asked, “Who’s wifey?” in a shaky voice barely above a whisper.
Thomas suddenly seemed more focused on the road, but his demeanor confirmed Eva’s worst nightmare.
“Thomas, who the hell is wifey?” She cried. This time, her voice, coveying an undeniable anger and betrayal, reverberated in the car.
“Baibe… baibe, I can explain”, he stuttered.

Say No To Rape

Eva was so broken and devastated. She regretted why she never thought about any of these things even though the signs had been splattered everywhere.

See why we need to engage the brain at inception? Sometimes, the vagina is so excited it can’t wait for the brain to process the situation and then we end up breaking the heart. While sometimes, it is the heart feeling things and it doesn’t give the brain enough time before conniving with the vagina and then disaster happens… hahaha you know what I mean.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying it is bad to fall in love or even have sex for that matter; what I am saying is that there is a reason the brain is at the top, the heart in the middle and the vagina right down where it is. You are to think first, feel and then do, in that order.

Each of these body parts has a function and we need to allow them function normally.

But hey, if we always follow the order of the brain to the heart, to the vagina, where then is the place for spontaneity, right? Where’s the place for just letting one’s hair down and living one’s best life or living in the moment?

After all, you are a woman in the alte kids generation. The fearless generation that breaks every rule and does the impossible. Why then should you be so guarded that you’re too afraid of letting your coochie be pounded, heart broken and head twisted because you chose to think with your vagina instead of your brain? It makes absolutely no sense now!

What makes the generation X and millennial people think they can tell you how to live your life, who to love, how to or not to love? Telling you how to live your life under the pretext of advice is definitely them taking away your freedom to decide for yourself. Are your brain, heart and vagina not yours?

Your body, your rule! Right?

Why then should anybody tell you not to do what you so wish with your body even if that thoughtless decision might ruin your self-esteem, self-image, how you relate with others and eventually mess with your mental health?

They can choose to continue living their life guarded and following rules that do not necessarily guarantee anything, but please, can they also allow you think with your vagina, shut down the warnings from your brain and give your heart the permission to lead you wherever.

Rules are constricting and boring!

And you are a bird who loves to fly freely.
Your life, your rules! Innit?

PS: Just so we’re clear, please, make sure to remind yourself and other Evas out there not to come running back to mama after the saga with your Thomases.


This was a collaboration with one of my lovely Ugandan friends, Husky. (Yo, Stars, Ugandans have almost stolen me from Nigeria with overwhelming love😍) Please check out Husky’s World HERE and drop some ♥️✨


Bolaji Gelax

Hey, Star! Thanks for stopping by my world. I'm a gorgeous, sassy radio junkie who enjoys playing devil's advocate. I love everything that makes me happy, which includes the Stars in my #Galaxy. They call me MISS FLOWERY because I bring good vibes, love and light. Feel free to explore my world ❤✨


  1. I came for the title 😄😁😂

    Lovely post. I didn’t know the vagina that much power over the heart right under the brain’s nose. I guess brain first is good, though spontaneity is also fun. Not forgetting that spontaneity in short is STI 😅

    Thank you for dickmatized.
    Credit Miss Gelax 😄

    1. Thank you for coming.

      The vagina is sure very powerful 😁. Wait, spontaneity is short for STI? Mad oooh 😂😂

      Thank you, again, for coming through 😉

  2. This one is debatable. The brain is an anatomical part of the human body and it’s functions are extensive. And all the other parts of the body have their own ontological functions, too. Thinking happens in the brain and it’s not responsible for whatever the vagina does. I think this interwoven role distribution only complicates things.

    1. Firstly, it took me reading your comment over to understand what you’re saying (at least, I think I do 🤭).

      Secondly, is the brain not literally the brainbox (engine) of every other parts of the body? Really asking.

  3. Nice read, relatable story and I agree with the order. It reminds me of a short story I should soon share on my blog as well. And we Ugandans will take you for sure 😅😅🥰

    1. Please, do well to link back here or post the link to the blog under this comment so other Stars can follow it up.

      Awww… That’s why I love you guys so much? 🤗🥰

      Thank you plenty plenty plenty plenty ♥️✨

  4. I will always say that; people should think with their brains first before they let anything else disorganize their emotions…and sexuality. It’s really annoying for someone to ignore every red flag possible, even if you clearly point them out for them only to end up in shit and then run to social media to call people dogs and what not over things they would have avoided. Tho, sometimes you gotta let your guard down and let that thing pop. Hahaha.
    About you and Uganda, every time you pop up, I see you as bae goals. 🙂

    1. I agree with you, Shadray. It’s probably why we hear a lot of “Men are scum” on the web.

      Bae goals? Dammmmnnn! My bride price just went up 💃💃💃


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