The Dandy: Virtuous and Naughty

Yo, Stars!!!✨ I have legit read this piece more than TEN times! And each time, I find myself smiling and blushing sheepishly.

Just get yourself a pack of popcorn and a bottle of soft drink, ’cause you are in for a ride. By the time you’re done reading this beautiful piece, you’d totally understand my excitement. Enjoy! 😉

Most of us feel trapped within the limited roles that the world expects us to play. We are instantly attracted to those who are more fluid, more ambiguous, than we are—those who create their own persona. Dandies excite us because they cannot be categorized, and hint at a freedom we want for ourselves. Use the power of the Dandy to create an ambiguous, alluring presence that stirs repressed desires.

– Art of Seduction, Robert Green.

When Robert Green speaks of dandies, he talks in respect of fluid gender/sexuality. I can see why that would appeal to some people. On a personal level, the fluidity is more subtle. I confess to having a weakness for moral ambiguity. The (consensual) corruption of innocence. A shade of uncertainty, “Should I do this?” Connections that involve both indulgence and restraint. As Rihanna would say, The Good Girl Gone bad.

Popular culture makes a strong distinction between love and lust. Often, going further. Declaring that love should be devoid of lust, and lust may not contain love. Personally, my emotions are conflicted. Love and lust conflate. Relationships are perpetually in flux. Girlfriends turn into exes who remain crushes forever after.

Feelings in Flux, Valentine Writes

For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.

Galatians 5 vs 17

For men, the desires of the flesh are visual. This is the generalization I have been told. I am a visual creature, which is my lived experience. I am attracted by the physical beauty of women. The smile, the glowing skin, the sculptured curves, the elegant collarbone, cute hands, a full afro, expressive eyes… the epitome of beauty is the female form. Nature’s masterpiece.

Instagram preys on my vulnerability. Carefully curated to my specific taste. Highly peculiar to my preferences. Combining vanity, filters, smartphone technology and social engineering to serve a perpetual reel of female visuals. A potent cocktail to ensure my willing submission to double taps and infinite scrolls.

Twitter, in contrast, is more revealing. Specifically,

As a Curate administrator, I have learnt to be attuned to people’s [profiles]. They can reveal aspects of personality: humour, contemplation, cynicism, activism, narcissism, ethnic pride, spontaneity or irreverence.

Of Avators and Personalities, Valentine Writes

Blog posts, go even further. Infused with lived experiences, values, fears, hopes and dreams, they are an invitation to gaze at people’s innermost thoughts. For some, existing as online journals, an outlet for public vulnerability. I consume them with a voracious appetite.

If they have read your blog, they will always say don’t use lines on me when you are being as natural as the earth with words and only expressing how you feel deep inside you concerning them.

Musanjufu Benjamin (@Benjamin_Watch)

Caramel smooth skin of African melanin. The absolute white of penetrating eyes. Simple black T-shirt branded by her being. Entangled chains frame her neck, complete with an elegant pendant: a simple gold cross. Jewels, as expected, adorn her ears. In breaking convection, she has a nose ring too. Hair dyed with hints of fiery red. Lips glistening with allure.

She is a kaleidoscope of colour. When coming across her Instagram, it was desire at first sight.

You can call me Miss Flowery.

Bolaji Gelax (@Bolajigelax)

She says you can call her Miss Flowery, and her vibrant nature is on show. Words, loosely tied, that exude beauty. Less a manicured bouquet, more a natural field of cherry blossoms.

Her name is exotic. Not in the sense of coming from another African local, but extra-terrestrial; from another galaxy. Larger than life, a Supernova. As it were, she calls those who follow her light, Stars.

Hey, Star! Thanks for stopping by my world. I’m a gorgeous, sassy radio junkie who enjoys playing devil’s advocate. I love everything that makes me happy, which includes the Stars in my #Galaxy. They call me MISS FLOWERY because I bring good vibes, love and light. Feel free to explore my world.

Gelax Chatroom, Bolaji Gelax

Click here to read the Single Celibate Christian series

Her blog name is an invitation: Gelax Chatroom. Her new series, deliberately provocative: Single Celibate Christian. An extract:

This was a woman who was a dandy: a person of spontaneity, who had hard limits for restraint. Aware of the dichotomy: the desires of the flesh are contrary to the desires of the spirit. A Christian, whose love language is physical touch. A nudist who was celibate.

Lost in her unintentional seduction, I was drawn to a deepening affection every step of the way. Instagram, Twitter, Youtube, and the Blog, various aspects of this fascinating human. Mixing visual decadence, an ethereal personality, a centered spirituality with a flirtatious sexual energy.

This was the woman who inflamed my desire. A sizzling cocktail of love and lust. A potent mix of admiration, appreciation and adoration. And for this, I had to let her know:

[Your] words were virtuous and naughty, simultaneously.

They made for delicious reading.

Valentine Writes.

Yo, people!!! The first time I read this, I didn’t see that ending coming. I was like whaaaaatttttt?! 😳 See ehn, I’d be lying if I said Valentine Writes didn’t get me all giddy with this.

Please, let me know what you think in the comment section. Should I start packing my bags for Zimbabwe???

Valentine and I initiated the “I’m an African but…” blog series which had eight bright Africans from five different African countries boldly speaking about how they defile some African norms. Catch up on episodes one, two, three, four, five, six, seven and eight.