The Dandy: Virtuous and Naughty

Yo, Stars!!!โœจ I have legit read this piece more than TEN times! And each time, I find myself smiling and blushing sheepishly.

Just get yourself a pack of popcorn and a bottle of soft drink, ’cause you are in for a ride. By the time you’re done reading this beautiful piece, you’d totally understand my excitement. Enjoy! ๐Ÿ˜‰


Most of us feel trapped within the limited roles that the world expects us to play. We are instantly attracted to those who are more fluid, more ambiguous, than we areโ€”those who create their own persona. Dandies excite us because they cannot be categorized, and hint at a freedom we want for ourselves. Use the power of the Dandy to create an ambiguous, alluring presence that stirs repressed desires.

– Art of Seduction, Robert Green.

The Dandy - Gelax Chatroom

When Robert Green speaks of dandies, he talks in respect of fluid gender/sexuality. I can see why that would appeal to some people. On a personal level, the fluidity is more subtle. I confess to having a weakness for moral ambiguity. The (consensual) corruption of innocence. A shade of uncertainty, “Should I do this?” Connections that involve both indulgence and restraint. As Rihanna would say, The Good Girl Gone bad.

Popular culture makes a strong distinction between love and lust. Often, going further. Declaring that love should be devoid of lust, and lust may not contain love. Personally, my emotions are conflicted. Love and lust conflate. Relationships are perpetually in flux. Girlfriends turn into exes who remain crushes forever after.

Feelings in Flux, Valentine Writes

This (repressed) desire is instinctual, hard to explain in clear terms of logic. But, maybe Robert Green specifies the cause. It is the, โ€œhint at freedom we want for ourselves”. Trapped, as humans within the competing interests of good and evil, as so eloquently expressed:

For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.

Galatians 5 vs 17

For men, the desires of the flesh are visual. This is the generalization I have been told. I am a visual creature, which is my lived experience. I am attracted by the physical beauty of women. The smile, the glowing skin, the sculptured curves, the elegant collarbone, cute hands, a full afro, expressive eyesโ€ฆ the epitome of beauty is the female form. Natureโ€™s masterpiece.

Social media platforms

Instagram preys on my vulnerability. Carefully curated to my specific taste. Highly peculiar to my preferences. Combining vanity, filters, smartphone technology and social engineering to serve a perpetual reel of female visuals. A potent cocktail to ensure my willing submission to double taps and infinite scrolls.

Twitter, in contrast, is more revealing. Specifically,

As a Curate administrator, I have learnt to be attuned to people’s [profiles]. They can reveal aspects of personality: humour, contemplation, cynicism, activism, narcissism, ethnic pride, spontaneity or irreverence.

Of Avators and Personalities, Valentine Writes

Blog posts, go even further. Infused with lived experiences, values, fears, hopes and dreams, they are an invitation to gaze at peopleโ€™s innermost thoughts. For some, existing as online journals, an outlet for public vulnerability. I consume them with a voracious appetite.

If they have read your blog, they will always say don’t use lines on me when you are being as natural as the earth with words and only expressing how you feel deep inside you concerning them.

Musanjufu Benjamin (@Benjamin_Watch)

Yet, social media (Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp) does not necessarily exist in opposites, separate and discrete. In fact, it may combine in a complimentary way. And sheโ€ฆ she is evidence of this truth.

Caramel smooth skin of African melanin. The absolute white of penetrating eyes. Simple black T-shirt branded by her being. Entangled chains frame her neck, complete with an elegant pendant: a simple gold cross. Jewels, as expected, adorn her ears. In breaking convection, she has a nose ring too. Hair dyed with hints of fiery red. Lips glistening with allure.

She is a kaleidoscope of colour. When coming across her Instagram, it was desire at first sight.

You can call me Miss Flowery.

Bolaji Gelax (@Bolajigelax)
Bolaji Gelax - Gelax Chatroom

She says you can call her Miss Flowery, and her vibrant nature is on show. Words, loosely tied, that exude beauty. Less a manicured bouquet, more a natural field of cherry blossoms.

Her name is exotic. Not in the sense of coming from another African local, but extra-terrestrial; from another galaxy. Larger than life, a Supernova. As it were, she calls those who follow her light, Stars.

Hey, Star! Thanks for stopping by my world. I’m a gorgeous, sassy radio junkie who enjoys playing devil’s advocate. I love everything that makes me happy, which includes the Stars in my #Galaxy. They call me MISS FLOWERY because I bring good vibes, love and light. Feel free to explore my world.

Gelax Chatroom, Bolaji Gelax
Single Celibate Christian - Gelax Chatroom

Click here to read the Single Celibate Christian series

Her blog name is an invitation: Gelax Chatroom. Her new series, deliberately provocative: Single Celibate Christian. An extract:

If youโ€™ve been around the Galaxy for a while, youโ€™d know by now that Iโ€™m a nudist. Now, for someone like myself whose major love language is physical touch, thatโ€™s a bit of an issue. You see, staying celibate in a relationship as a nudist who enjoys physical touch isnโ€™t exactly a walk in the park. Once I get comfortable with my partner, youโ€™d most likely find me walking around the house in my undies and almost stark naked. Like, I get so used to my man that I forget he is an actual person (man) with raging hormones and not one of my girlfriends. Gosh!

Imagine what kinda torture that is for any man considering how damn hot I am. Yeah, I know it.

Single Celibate Christian, BOLAJI Gelax

This was a woman who was a dandy: a person of spontaneity, who had hard limits for restraint. Aware of the dichotomy: the desires of the flesh are contrary to the desires of the spirit. A Christian, whose love language is physical touch. A nudist who was celibate.

Bolaji Gelax Chatroom

Lost in her unintentional seduction, I was drawn to a deepening affection every step of the way. Instagram, Twitter, Youtube, and the Blog, various aspects of this fascinating human. Mixing visual decadence, an ethereal personality, a centered spirituality with a flirtatious sexual energy.

This was the woman who inflamed my desire. A sizzling cocktail of love and lust. A potent mix of admiration, appreciation and adoration. And for this, I had to let her know:

[Your] words were virtuous and naughty, simultaneously.

They made for delicious reading.

Valentine Writes.
Gelax Chatroom

Yo, people!!! The first time I read this, I didn’t see that ending coming. I was like whaaaaatttttt?! ๐Ÿ˜ณ See ehn, I’d be lying if I said Valentine Writes didn’t get me all giddy with this.

Please, let me know what you think in the comment section. Should I start packing my bags for Zimbabwe???


Valentine and I initiated the “I’m an African but…” blog series which had eight bright Africans from five different African countries boldly speaking about how they defile some African norms. Catch up on episodes one, two, three, four, five, six, seven and eight.

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Bolaji Gelax

Hey, Star! Thanks for stopping by my world. I'm a gorgeous, sassy radio junkie who enjoys playing devil's advocate. I love everything that makes me happy, which includes the Stars in my #Galaxy. They call me MISS FLOWERY because I bring good vibes, love and light. Feel free to explore my world โคโœจ

16 thoughts on “The Dandy: Virtuous and Naughty

  1. Valentine, please please come and carry our sister already. Ahn Ahn, watapun? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    I legit had goosebumps reading this. Your style of writing is out of this world. Kilode! Corrupt us, we are your Grammy. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Okay let me calm down. Phew. Please give us more. T for thanks.
    ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿพ

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  2. Yhuuuuuuu this was beautiful ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ
    Denounce your Nigerian foremothers and move to Zimbabwe promptly

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    1. Okay, now you’re going to make me cry ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

      These words you people use to describe me make me wonder if you’re actually talking about me. I’m flattered. Really, I am.

      Thank you plenty plenty plenty, Star! โ™ฅ๏ธโœจ

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  3. In my head am already writing a love story of some two people.

    When they say words are powerful it looks like this.
    The man is a sword with words๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ

    Sis I will just prepare to attend whatsoever ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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  4. Bro dey Para ooo!!! Well done Valentine Writes!!! You have succinctly captured our Olori’s heart with โœ. The unintentional seducer have been intentionally seduced with laced words.๐Ÿค“ *Me….low key re-downloading the Art of Seduction while commenting here* Progress…87% ๐Ÿ˜Š

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